Time is beginning to cave in on itself, things are no longer what they seem. Witnessing the very end of this reality with my own eyes – I now watch as the fruition of fates begin to stir the tides. The nights grow more quiet as I sit here, as well, in deafening silence. The weight of the cool air piecing through windows seals carry messages cloaked in whispers of their own – all else besides those in which I walk among seem to know of the stirrings which have now begun to take place. The darkened moon, while much more invisible to me now schemes of a plan where fates of it’s own bidding will take place, a plan that reverberates across the cosmos, touching me ever-so slightly in my dreams. Somehow, it always finds me. And when it finds me and evokes what it seeks, I tend to fall apart all over again. Like a puzzle made up of a million pieces, yearning to be whole. This process, this circle, this undying cycle is of some sick sense of feeling that I’ve grown tired of enduring.
But I suppose at least I’m feeling, for I know that now that crevices in my mind are about to flood and soon levers and buttons will be triggered that would set off counterbalances that will lead to the worst of things; but still, I lean into it all for there is no other path to take, there is no other road that is near, there is no other life to lead or serve – only that in which final fates have left me. I can sense the presence of all that has been left within the depths below, drifting at the bottom, trapped within the very foundations of the worlds brain. For times past, and memories of yesterday start to haunt like never before, reminding me of how it all came to be, reminding me of origins that were to lead to an unraveling, reminding me of the way I once felt, and how all I know ,and once knew – has been ever-so fleeting from the start.
I wish I could put into words for you that would describe the true depth of what it was, to me, at the very least. For those looking through the giant windows from the very outside that I used to peer from them towards – may have interpreted something different, but I knew what it was, I knew what I had. But from the very castles in which I worshipped came the very exile which I cursed, and the very curse that left my mouth brought about the birth of fates and it is now those very fates that shall see to their fruitions – an evolution beyond finality, a fulfillment of the highest degree. But while the time slows down, and speaks codes to me that I should never see, I cast away this spectacle of calm that remains; not to fight, not to wage war, not to beg for mercy – but to simply integrate with all that has been desperately dragging towards me this entire time. Because spiraling down is where the truth went, and where all I once cared for now lie, and though the fruition of fates may seek me out and no later will they find – but until then, there is closure that calls to me, a decay of sorts that binds – leading me to the darkest of paths, the death of the peace of mind.
