Bind my mind to the brink of time where everything felt alright, like a state of calmness that until that point had only been obtainable in deeper dreams, or like a sense of safety that could only be felt in the presence of younger and vibrant souls. I know that there is a lot left here now to find reason to keep up with reason itself; but the bleeding edge calls to me, and the distant echoes beckon me – for they know still that the shadows cling to me in shrouds like armor, protecting me from being erased from this very state that I have become. Chances are I’ll never even retain state of conscious mind to feel the self-sabotage when it comes; like being numb to it all, my mind has begun to wander, like in a perpetual daydream, in ways that it has not since before vast plains and encompassing ice walls that preceded it. There are still moments, such times that follow more loss and tragedy whilst taking place during a brief and fleeting moment of clarity. It’s during these fractured times where it seeps in, the longing to escape, the yearning to unravel – the crave to experience cycles that have now since fallen, all over again.
You’ll never understand how much it really takes to keep me holding onto this, like clenching to onto a vine of thorns that can guide me to some sort of salvation – for as long as I do not let go. Dreams are the most powerful yet least tangible force that I have ever come to know, and with love essentially being one in the same just makes this all the more vain in hindsight. My eyes are fixated on a prize that was never reached upon ages ago. And my all is all but willing to continue to pursue it after this time has come to past. For the brief and fleeting moment of clarity that awaits before me now is one that I know for certain will never come again; for upon it’s leaving, it will be wiped away with the rest of what remains of this reality. For fates fruitions shall come for us all from multiple directions – with only what leaves in place by the actions of it’s own hand, remain safe from what lies in the beyond.
