Birds swoop in and out of these spirals entangled with space, time, and the various circles and cycles that I’ve created that have now begun to manifest as a binding force – as it pulls the sun further down, down, to someplace I could only dream to see. Moments like these where the blood spills across these vast skies are the moments that give birth to glimpses of times that I had once remembered, people I had one cherished, and a life I have since left behind. At times I wonder why, but the very universal nature of progression and evolution is quick to force me a long. In other words, time is always fleeting, and it too – was only borrowed to us and what we had. Not once did I imagine I would find myself saddened over the death of the sunshine that once shot it’s rays through the rain and clouds that had kept me fixated on nothing more but repeating numbers, and the things that would follow them. Even now strapped to the seat, with this inevitable yet untapped nature awaiting it’s proceeding moment; I find myself begging to something or someone that isn’t even there that I oddly don’t want to leave this place, this state that I’ve now found myself in. For though it feels foreign, and though it feels unknown, and if I’m being honest – very far from what I’ve known myself to be; it almost seems like this was the way I was meant to go out, the way that everything was meant to end.
It is much too late now for the love of ours to blossom, so I’ll toss whatever feelings and ideals I had once had aside and now focus towards devouring and consuming whatever offering is presented to me. For even though together we may have been able to provide worship to great, we could uplift a dying sun, the moment the wound was founded, all the we had quickly fell apart. Instances in time like this help me grasp to the essence of death that I once clung to so strongly, like a sick addiction, a lifeline even, once that was seemingly sucked away beneath the depths of the dark pool. Drowning underneath blackened waters where only innocence is allowed, where innocence comes to be consumed. So I’ll close my eyes slowly as this new wave of sleep begins to seep in, and though sometimes I’ll likely the see face of yours, more often than not it will be glimpses of the actions brought upon the death of this sun, and the very burdens I’ll be left to bear; because I’m tapping into untapped nature here, nature that had only sought to guide me during times just before the cavern walls, times when love was just and pure.
I can only hope that when this is all said and done, and whatever love is left buried deep within me, that it shall be poured out either within the black, empty, and infinite void; or left within the presence of another dying sun. Cause much like the sun, I often wish to disappear to a place far from everything and everyone, to seemingly sleep as the blackened night pours across the firmament. And maybe there will be a guiding force, or some guiding mysterious nature in the back of my mind that will yearn for me to take you with me – futures have been stranger. And I often hope that such a time could be sooner than later, for what has been left for me here – even during these fleeting and fragile times following the final fates, are hardly times worth fighting for like before. For no matter what way you look at it, day after day, the end of this all approaches; some day’s bringing it much closer than others – and though in essence I am more-so further gone than others, I’ll always stick around long enough to watch the violent hue fill the skies, like blood, as the night comes trickling in.
